52.

5/18/10

I need passion.. or something to fill my time. I need something to get excited about, something to drive me forward. I need something. I’m not content to be here, at home, every day, watching TV, making list after list of pointless things to do. I want a job, very much so. I would hope one that I enjoy, but even if it’s not at least I’d be getting paid for my wasted time. Money that I could use for happiness in the future.

51.

4/21/12

It wouldn’t be so bad. Just swim out to the middle. Breathe it in. The first one would hurt, it’d be hard. But the second would be easier. The third would feel natural. I’m sure It’d be cold too, but that would fade. And as I sank, I’d relax. I’d feel at peace and it’d all be gone.

50.

5/23/12

Seeing couples walking down the street together makes me both really happy and really sad. Happy in that, I understand that feeling. Sad in that, even though I have someone I feel that way for, I don't have the luxury of something as simple as walking down the street holding hands. It sometimes makes me angry too, when I see people who are together but unhappy. It's upsetting that they have the privilege of actually being together, yet don't take full advantage of it. They take it for granted that they get to be together, they don't think of what their lives would be like if they couldn't be. They don't appreciate each other like they should. I think if people realized that it would end a lot of petty arguments. Just to be with the person you love is an amazing privilege...

49.

I have no friend, Margaret: when I am glowing with the enthusiasm of success, there will be none to participate my joy; if I am assailed by disappointment, no one will endeavor to sustain me in dejection. I shall commit my thoughts to paper, it is true; but that is a poor medium for the communication of feeling. I desire the company of a man who could sympathize with me; whose eyes would reply to mine. You may deem me a romantic, my dear sister, but I bitterly feel the want of a friend. I have no one near me, gentle yet courageous, possessed of a cultivated as well as of a capacious mind, whose tastes are like my own, to approve of or amend my plans. How would such a friend repair the faults of your poor brother!

 -Mary Shelley's Frankenstein

http://browse.deviantart.com/?q=the+modern+prometheus#/d4opb5c

48.

We are but lemmings on the run.

Lemmings on the Run by E-ROTIC

Only when we're dead we're really free.

Video

Lyrics

47.

“What I mean is that, even a dumb ass like me can think everything’s pointless. Why do I get up and eat? It all ends up shit anyway. Why am I going to school and studying? Even if I happen to succeed I’m going to die anyway. You wear nice clothes, you seek respect, you make a lot of money, but what’s the point? It’s all pointless. Of course this kind of meaninglessness might suit this crappy nation. But…but, you see, we still have emotions like joy and happiness, right? They may not amount to much. But they fill our emptiness. That’s the only explanation I have.”
          - Battle Royale (Shogo Kawada)

“Shogo. I know I’m repeating myself, but I have to say it. If I were Keiko, this is what I’d say. Please live. Talk, think, act. And sometimes listen to music…. Look at paintings at times to be moved. Laugh a lot, and at times, cry. And if you find a wonderful girl, then go for her and love her. Because that’s the Shogo I really loved.”
          - Battle Royale (Noriko Nakagawa)

“Together Noriko we’ll live with the sadness. I’ll love you with all the madness in my soul. Someday girl I don’t know when we’re gonna get to that place. Where we really want to go and we’ll walk in the sun.”

          - Battle Royale (Shuya Nanahara)

46.

All the quick futility of my days cascaded upon me, and I wanted to scream out in helpless fury at the hopeless inevitable going on of seconds, days and years. By the time I fill in this page, said I, I will have finished my job, gone home, ... pass or failed my driving test, given my speech... and whiz(zed) through another year of my life... All this is a quick sketch of the scared naked fear and grief that congealed in me when I saw the vivid living of my days boxed off and numbered in faceless white squares...

           

            -Sylvia Plath, #118